Groaning

I am the dread enemy 
of easy consolation
I groan the word beyond 
I hear the unsure vows 
whispered 
against the cliffs of sheer concern

some would sell their hearts 
to meet the world
like a hug 
to live as though the everyday
were not really just 
danger 
but without the terror

I am telling you
I disintegrate
day by day there is less
and before my body drops its last finger
I shall not have half
of what I crave

how can I live anymore
hoping that out there some Power  
has my all dreams in a bag
my medicine also
and could give it all to me if he only 
wanted to?

this is no time 
to yell at the evil crowd
to sit hours at the frosted window in distress
it is happening 
with or without consent
I’ve touched the loose doorknob
and sipped the tepid coffee
it is all so real
because it is never exactly 
how I want

come with me
someone come with me
into the wild sure premise of night